Lessons from the Road: Presence, Practice, and the Long Game

Over the past 4–5 years, I’ve been on a journey. Actually, I’ve been on many (some intentional, some unexpected) but one in particular has been deeply physical and surprisingly spiritual: I’ve been working to lose weight and reconnect with my body in a new way.

Like many of you, I’ve tried all sorts of experiments. I didn’t have a clear goal, just a sense that something needed to shift. I tried all sorts of experiments: the blood-type diet, intermittent fasting, even one-meal-a-day. I got into road biking (a fun but pricey phase). Last summer, I started walking 10,000 steps a day, five days a week.

Then a few months ago, my doctor pushed me to keep going. He encouraged me to drop another 20 pounds. He even suggested I aim for my high school weight (I still think this is absurd). But his concern was real, and I knew I had plateaued. So I did something I had been avoiding: I started running.

Now, let me be clear—I hate running. It’s miserable to start. Every time, I dreaded it. My body hurt. My brain resisted. I had all the reasons not to do it. But I knew something from my somatic work: when we’re up against something that feels overwhelming, it’s not willpower we need—it’s resourcing.

So I got resourced. I reached out to friends who run. I asked them how to make it sustainable. I wanted to know how to make it not miserable. The advice I got was clear: go slow. Build capacity. Start with short stints and expand from there. That advice felt like a gift, not just for running, but for life.

In Somatic Enneagram work, especially as a 5 in the 8-5-2 harmony triad, I’ve learned that for me, transformation moves from body to heart. That opening the heart (at 2) means engaging the body (at 8). And that means moving through resistance, not bypassing it. In running, it’s the same: to increase my heart’s strength, I have to start in the body. Slowly. Deliberately.

Another lesson also emerged: where I focus matters. When I fixate on the moment I get to walk again, I move into the future—and lose the present. But when I focus on just the next step, something shifts. I become present. Aware. Not at some imagined finish line, but here. Breath by breath. Step by step.

This is the heart of spiritual practice. Of contemplative and somatic work. It’s not about fixing ourselves or powering through. It’s about presence. Practice. Resourcing. And choosing, over and over again, to stay with what is.

If you’re in a season of change, or if something in you is longing to move—emotionally, spiritually, physically—I want to remind you: you don’t have to do it alone. Whether through spiritual direction, coaching or the Somatic Enneagram, we go slow enough to notice what’s happening, and we build capacity for more life, more clarity, more wholeness.

We're not meant to go alone.
And we’re not meant to go fast.
We’re meant to go resourced - together.

Uncovering The Layers

May has been a full month. Maybe you’ve felt it too. I heard someone recently call it “May-cember,” and it resonated. Life has been rich and fast-paced in all the ways this season tends to be.

This month, I’ve had the gift of leading the Embodied Wisdom Somatic Enneagram group each Thursday with ten deeply engaged participants. I traveled to Detroit to be with a friend and had the opportunity to lead an Enneagram workshop and speak at a gathering there. I also preached at my home church - something I'm still learning how to do. Facilitating group process feels more natural to me than delivering a sermon, but I’m discovering the edges of my own growth as I stretch into new ways of sharing.

In the midst of all this outward movement, I’ve been especially tuned in to my own inner practices. Some of you know how important my nightly walks have become. What started last summer as a way to move my body in the Dallas heat has slowly turned into a sacred rhythm. I often walk late at night, after the house finally quiets down. What used to be TV time has become walking and listening time; time for presence and reflection.

Back in November, I stepped away from TV for a bit to make room for other practices. What I discovered surprised me. TV itself wasn’t the issue, it was how I was using it. I was zoning out, not resting. I was filling time, not deepening awareness. Even my conversations were often centered around what I’d watched. Making this small shift helped me see something bigger: how unconscious habits can crowd out conscious living.

And that’s really the heart of the work, isn’t it? Becoming more conscious. Sometimes the smallest shift (a new practice, a different rhythm) can open up something deep and revealing. We don’t have to overhaul our lives to begin to notice. Often, transformation starts with attention.

I won’t pretend I’m “getting to the bottom” of my inner work. If anything, I’m learning that each layer I uncover reveals another one underneath. But this uncovering feels like a gift. It keeps refining me by pulling me toward greater honesty, deeper presence, and fuller wholeness.

This is the work we’re doing together—through spiritual direction, through the Enneagram, through the sacred rhythms of our lives. At its heart, it’s about becoming more whole. Whether you call it God, Essence, your Higher Power, the Universe, Spirit or simply the Divine, the invitation is the same: to return to the truest version of ourselves.

I’m grateful to walk this path with you.

Podcast: Words From Silence

 

 

I had the joy of joining my friend and spiritual director, Lindsay O'Connor, on her podcast "Words From Silence." Lindsay hosts such thoughtful, soulful conversations—and in this new episode, we dive into the Somatic Enneagram (what it is), my personal journey, and the deep beauty of walking alongside others in their inner transformation.

If you're curious about embodied wisdom, nervous system regulation, or how the Enneagram can be a tool for healing, this one's for you.

Give it a listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Listen on Spotify Here.

Ted Lasso And The Enneagram

What Are The Enneagram Types Of Each Ted Lasso Character?

Ted Lasso Characters By Enneagram Type.

Ted Lasso is the feel good show of right now. If you are watching it, you are loving it. Each character brings so much to the table. In an ensemble cast, like this one, I am always amazed at how good each character presents. I am pretty much always in awe of television writers and creators. In Ted Lasso, each character is so well written that they present deeply. They are consistent with the character stories even in short story developments that occur through the show. As an enneagram project this was a fun one and even more fun to discuss on social media.

What elements did I use for typing characters? The enneagram is so common that so many people know about it enough to do some typing. Often this means we recognize behaviors and put that into type. This works well mostly but the enneagram as a personality tool is truly derived from behavior. The most revealing elements of the enneagram - and the parts that help us transform who we are - come from the opportunity to observe our motivations. 

In our origin moments (typically pre-speech) your centers are set and our numbers come from our centers. So there are head, heart and gut/intuition numbers. Each of these numbers share a loss of a holy idea which creates a new egoic passion and fixation. All of this occurs without us even knowing it. So how am I typing the characters? I am primarily looking for their passions and fixations that inspire their behaviors.

Body Center

Type 8: Roy - The fan favorite is kind but he is not nice. We see him protecting Phoebe, his teammates and watch him only do what he wants to do. The 8’s loss of Holy Truth inspires lust and vengeance but they are found at their best protecting innocence.

Type 9: Sam - Like all 9’s, Sam is being himself at all times. However he does lose site of his own compass when he blends in with everyone else. We see him take on “right action” when he has to stand up against the sponsor he was just promoting. The 9’s loss of Holy Love inspires their indolence (avoidance) but it is in taking that right action that they find their best selves again.

Type 1: Jaime - Isn’t it frustrating when someone is the best at everything they do? It is almost like deep down they have something driving them to get everything right - to be perfect. The loss of Holy Perfection drives the ego into anger and resentment and yet it is through the virtue of serenity that we find one’s returning to their best selves.

Heart Center

Type 2: Nate - People love their 2 friends. We love them so much because they take care of us. But like their other relator triad numbers of 8 & 5’s, 2’s are also controlling and we can see all of this in Nate. Their loss of Holy Will leads them to pride and seeking flattery. Engaging with humility brings them home.

Type 3: Rebecca - I love how we get to see all of the good sides of Rebecca. She always does the right things. She wears the right things, gives gifts at Christmas to the less fortunate. Because of their loss of Holy Law, they find deceit and vanity. To be at their best, their attachment to truth (veracity) will guide them to their honest self.

Type 4: Keeley - Maybe the most connective character on the show is Keeley. She is closely connected to so many story lines where she is encouraging other people to be themselves and that is because she is being herself all the time. A 4 is rooted in an inner compass. Their loss of Holy Origin demands their uniqueness and thus they struggle with envy and melancholy. Equanimity or calmness is their guide home.

Head Center

Type 5: Dr. Sharon - The season 2 addition of Dr. Sharon Fieldstone brings our second 5 to the show (Coach Beard is also a 5). The good doctor is often found observing, keeping quiet and having deep discussions with others. She wants to present mastery in her profession and doesn’t want to many people to see her any differently.  The loss of Holy Omniscience drives the five into avarice (collecting) and stinginess. They need to develop a non-attachment guide to be their best self.

Type 6: Higgins - My wife dislikes the term “loyalist” as the title of the six but what is beautiful about it is that a six is loyal to the whole. Higgins is the most loyal Greyhound on the show and he wants everyone to be cared for. We see that in how we moves offices for Dr. Fieldstone and makes sure the players have somewhere to go during the holidays. The six loss is one of Holy Faith specifically in that they feel everyone deserves everything equally and they are driven to fear and cowardice because of this. But it is courage that will be their guide and we see that courage emerging in Higgins.

Type 7: Danny - We aren’t gaining a well rounded picture of a seven in Danny (at least not into season 2 when this was created). However in the yips episode is where we most see the upbeat seven being confronted with a difficult moment. Danny is up and busy and chasing the next thing, the next goal, the next  experience because futbol is life-giving to him. The seven’s loss of the Holy Plan guides the ego to gluttony and planning for their next thing often causing them to miss the moment they are in. Sobriety or a slower pace is their guide to a life of presence.

But What About Ted?

Ted is an advocate in everyone’s lives to be better - To Believe - Be A Goldfish - Be Curious. Thinkers think. Feelers feel. And gut or intuition people do. Ted is a doer but he is the most being energy on the enneagram circle and therefore I believe him to be a 9 with a pretty present 1 wing. Ted is just being and sometimes that gets him in trouble. When he slows down some anxiety catches him. The best part about Ted is that he believes other people have the right to be as well if they would just believe.

Keep Reading: Who Are Today’s Modern Spiritual Teachers Of The Enneagram?

 

 

Better Questions = Getting Unstuck

The process of deconstruction and reconstruction can have a lot of up’s and down’s. Sometimes in the midst of it, we may just feel stuck. So what do we do when we feel stuck? How do we know if our truest voice is speaking or if it is a voice from our past? I asked Therapist and Spiritual Coach Amanda Waldron to jump into this conversation to help us find new ways and better questions to continue down a healthy reconstruction path. This conversation swerves around and we touch on everything from the somatic enneagram, purity culture, getting unstuck and what kind of people we need during different seasons of our lives. Learn more about Amanda on her website www.heyamandawaldron.com or follow her on instagram.